Welcome, Tears!

I thought it would get easier. I have said good-bye to all five daughters departing for many places around the world… Estonia, Thailand, Australia, Africa, Italy, China, Jamaica, Mexico City, Honduras…and it never gets easier. We just left Silverthorne, Colorado, where we said good-bye to Alyssa and Tyler, who are leaving for Japan this week, to engage in both ministry endeavors and teaching English as a second language. They are newly weds bound for the unknown, the unfamiliar…bound for an adventure that will carry them into a culture they know very little about. We spent a wonderful day together, beginning with a church service held in the town amphitheater.
The pastor concluded the service by playing a recording by Rebecca St. James. I knew I was in trouble…I lost it. Tears were streaming down my face as I flashed back to a Rebecca St. James concert Alyssa and I attended when she was 13 years old. The songs she was hearing caused such a stirring in her heart, that when Rebecca invited people to come forward who desired a deeper relationship with the Lord…she didn’t skip a beat. Off she went, practically running down the isle. Hundreds were heading down the isle…who would she hook up with? Where would we find each other? Would she get lost? Oh ye of little faith…such needless worry. It wasn’t long before she came running down the isle with a beautiful Bible tucked under her arm. She was beaming. It was a milestone experience…one that turned the course of her life. Now do you see why it gripped my emotions? Well, it was there that the tears began and they continued to filter through my eyes unannounced throughout the day. Oh man, I’ve got to grab a Kleenex. My tear ducts are filling up again just writing about it.
So why so many tears? You might think I am fearful for their safety, for their health, that they will collapse under the cultural pressures, that they will have to suffer…NO, its nothing like that! That part is easy for me because I am confident in the God who called them to Japan and promises to join them throughout their journey…to guide them…protect them…comfort them…instruct them…and grow them. What’s causing the tears? It’s knowing how much I will miss that cup of tea while processing so much of life together. I will miss connecting with them at church and enjoying a lunch together after the services. At our family gatherings, I’ll miss watching them take absolute delight in Winston and Ellie our two grandchildren ages 1 and 3. I’ll miss watching them grow together as a couple and in their walk with the Lord. “Girl time” just won’t be the same without Alyssa’s laughter, challenging comments, and sharing about her day-to-day personal journey. I’ll miss being the recipient of her servant heart, encouraging comments, affirmation, and her warm hugs…and on and on I could go.
By the time we shared our last cup of coffee at Starbucks, Alyssa and I were a mess…laughing and crying, while reminiscing the past year. Our men kept serving us more coffee while throwing an occasional smile at each other. They knew not to rush us…we just needed time to say “Good-bye”. I welcome my tears because they tell the story of our “family togetherness”… of my heart connection with Alyssa. They connect me to our storehouse of treasured memories that will keep Alyssa and Tyler present even in their absence. How sad…I mean really sad… it would be if there were no tears.